


Reflection

by holdontoyourhulahoops



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healthy Relationships, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Kissing, M/M, in the past, not between them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9351416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdontoyourhulahoops/pseuds/holdontoyourhulahoops
Summary: Victor and Yuuri are there for each other.  Victor is ready to take things slow, and Yuuri opens up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I literally could not come up with an appropriate summary. *Warning: Yuuri discusses a past sexual experience which he regrets and was too drunk to consent to. It is only referenced, but I added the tag anyway.*

Victor hums as he towels off Yuuri’s damp hair.  His own hair is dripping in his eyes, though he doesn’t seem to notice, eyebrows drawn together as he smiles at Yuuri fondly.

“You know I can do this myself, right?” Yuuri asks, lips pursed.

Victor frowns, letting his hands fall back so the towel simply hangs over Yuuri’s head.  “Does it bother you?”

Flushing, Yuuri glances down.  “No.  No- I didn’t mean...  It definitely doesn’t, but I don’t want you to feel like-”

Victor laughs softly, before lifting a hand to stroke Yuuri’s cheek.  

“Don’t be silly.  I want to take care of you.”

Yuuri’s breath hitches.  Still looking down, he tugs the towel from his hair so he can drape it over Victor’s head.

Victor stares at him in surprise, mouth falling slightly open.

“Yuuri…”

“Me too,” Yuuri whispers, kneading Victor’s hair through the towel.  He drags Victor forward so that their noses are nearly touching.  “I want to take care of you too, I mean.”

Victor blinks several times, eyes glassy, before closing the remaining distance between them.  Their hair is still damp, but that’s all but forgotten as Victor presses Yuuri back against the mattress, kissing him slowly.

“I’m glad,” he breathes, smiling against Yuuri’s mouth.

Yuuri wraps his arms around Victor’s neck, tugging him closer.  They kiss lazily for a while.  Victor’s hands run down Yuuri’s sides before settling on his hips, tracing the skin there with his thumbs.

This isn’t new for them anymore, but Yuuri still can’t help but find it all a little overwhelming.  It’s almost too much sometimes, like he’s caught between fleeing the room and clinging to Victor and never letting go.  Panting, he nudges at Victor’s chest.  

Victor draws back to blink down blearily at him, before rolling onto his side.

“You alright?” he asks, searching Yuuri’s face.  “Was that okay?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri replies, taking a moment to catch his breath.  He turns to face Victor, offering a tired smile.  “Yeah, of course.”

Victor stares back at him, appraising him carefully.  He reaches out to take Yuuri’s hand, intertwining their fingers and letting them rest on the pillow between them.  

“Hey, Yuuri,” Victor says, voice more serious now.

Yuuri blinks at him a little sleepily.  “Hmm…?”

“I know you haven’t done this before.  So you need to tell me if you’re uncomfortable with anything, okay?  I don’t want to rush this.”

Yuuri’s shoulders tense slightly, and he drops his gaze, feeling his stomach twist.  He bites his lip.

“Okay.”

Frowning, Victor squeezes Yuuri’s fingers, his eyebrows knitting together.  “You sure you’re alright?”

Yuuri swallows thickly, finding himself unable to meet his eyes.  

“It’s nothing…”

“Yuuri.  Please look at me.”

Yuuri squirms uncomfortably, before nervously glancing back up.  Victor’s lips are pursed with concern.  He squeezes Yuuri’s hand.

“You don’t have to tell me.  But don’t feel like you have to lie for my sake,” Victor says.  

Yuuri fidgets and pulls his hand away, forcing himself to sit up.  Sighing, he draws his knees to his chest and lifts an arm to cover his face.

“Sorry!  It’s just embarrassing.”

Confused, Victor sits up as well, running a hand through his hair.  

“Nothing you can tell me can be more embarrassing than some of the things I’ve done.  I promise, love.”

Normally, this might elicit curiosity or a laugh from Yuuri, but he’s almost too mortified to even hear Victor at this point.

“Ah, it’s just.  Um… what you said earlier… it’s not exactly true.”

“What do you mean?” Victor prompts.  He places his palm on the small of Yuuri’s back.

Yuuri chews on his lip self-consciously.  “I mean… about the thing where you think I- um…”

Victor draws in a sharp breath of realization.  “Oh. Oh, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed anything.  You said you’d never had been in a serious relationship, and I just- Well, I should have asked.”

Yuuri just groans.  “It’s not like I really remember anything,” he sighs, feeling his bottom lip quiver.  “I mean, um…” he trails, voice shaking.

Tentatively, Victor scoots closer and places a warm hand on his arm.

“Hey,” he says gently.  “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s just- it’s embarrassing…I uh… I...” Yuuri stutters, wiping at his eyes.  Victor says nothing, just watches him intently and waits patiently for Yuuri to continue.

“Back when I lived in Detroit- the first few years weren’t always great. I was really homesick, and stressed, and my routines weren’t working out the way I wanted, and I was wondering if any of it was even worth it when I couldn’t seem to land a single quad.” He sighs, voice shaky.  “Anyway, one night I somehow ended up at a bar.  I’m not sure what I was think at the time, or even why I went, but… Well, I didn’t have a lot of experience drinking at the time, outside of family events. And I-uh- went pretty overboard.”

Victor’s mouth is pressed into a firm line, but he doesn’t interrupt, only gives Yuuri’s arm a reassuring squeeze.

“Anyway…” Yuuri grits his teeth.  “I woke up in some guy’s apartment, and I felt awful, and I had no idea where I was, and I couldn’t even find my shoes, and everything hurt, and I basically ended up having a panic attack but somehow managed to limp outside to throw up on the sidewalk and… yeah…”  He cuts off, sucking in a trembling breath.  His vision is blurry and he's rambling at this point.  He almost wishes he could just melt into the blankets and disappear.

“Yuuri…” Victor whispers, his breath hitching painfully.  

“I mean, it’s kind of funny, right?” Yuuri prompts, with an awkward, watery laugh.  “And pretty pathetic.”

Victor stiffens, before he draws Yuuri into a crushing hug.  His nose brushes against Yuuri’s cheek, and he inhales shakily.

“It’s not.  It’s not either of those things, not at all.  God, Yuuri, I’m...” he trails off, gritting his teeth.  “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about it.”

Yuuri sniffles, digging his hands into Victor’s t-shirt.

“It’s really embarrassing…. I hate that I was so stupid.”

Victor runs a hand soothingly through Yuuri’s hair.  “You’re not stupid, Yuuri.  That wasn’t your fault.”

Yuuri chokes, but curls against Victor, pressing his nose against the curve of his neck.

“I was probably quite the sight, just sitting there hyperventilating on the sidewalk…”

“Yuuri,” Victor says softly.  “You don’t have to tell me anymore.”

But Yuuri shakes his head slightly, letting out a soft breath.  “No, it's okay,” he says, and he means it, somehow.

“It wasn’t so bad after that. By some miracle, I still had my cellphone on me.  We weren’t super close at the time, but I didn’t know what else to do, so I called Phichit. I didn’t even know where I was, I still could hardly breath,  I have no clue what I told him, or if I was even speaking coherent English, but he told me to stay where I was and that he’d come get me.”

He sniffles weakly, feeling his shoulders relax a little.  “I still have no idea how he found me, but he was there in less than ten minutes.  And he had someone’s car, though I don’t even think he has a license _now._ ” Yuuri snorts, and allows himself to sink into Victor’s embrace.  “Anyway, I managed to get me home somehow.  And he stayed with me all day- I think he told Celestino I was sick or something.  We watched movies and played video games and Phichit showed me how to make safe obstacle courses for his illegal dorm hamsters.”

“Illegal dorm hamsters?”

Yuuri’s lips quirk into a small smile.  “You should have been there the day they got out while we were at the rink. I thought Phichit was going to have an aneurism.  He really loves his hamsters.”

“I’m glad he was there for you,” Victor says softly.  He lifts one of his hands to stroke through Yuuri’s hair.  

“Yeah…” Yuuri agrees.  “We were pretty inseparable after all that....”

Victor nods, his nose brushing Yuuri’s forehead.  They lay together for a while in silence, simply listening to each other’s breathing.

“Victor…”  Yuuri mumbles, sometime later.

“Hmm…?”

“Thanks… um… I’ve never really told anyone about that before… I just....” he trails off, unsure how to put it.

Victor inhales softly, fumbling around for Yuuri’s hand in the darkness.  He laces their fingers together, before drawing them up to his lips and kissing them reverently.

“Yuuri.  I’m here for you.  Whenever you need me.  Okay?”

Yuuri blinks at him, bottom lip trembling.  “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to message me at hopenobodyeverfindsthis.tumblr.com


End file.
